Coway Bidetmega 400 Review: A Glorious Way to Clean Your Derrière

The millennial generation’s discretionary hard cash is not being mashed into avocado toast. It is becoming spent on cell phones, smartwatches, wireless headphones, and Netflix subscriptions. Senior reviewer Adrienne So suggests we spend this substantially for minor things because the large issues are damaged. If we cannot resolve overall health treatment, rid ourselves of scholar bank loan debt, or contend with skyrocketing housing charges, we may perhaps as effectively address ourselves to The Witcher on a major ol’ flatscreen.

I imagine she’s right, in no compact element since, more than the past two months, I have learned a new will have to-have for fellow techno-nihilists: A $599 electrified bathroom attachment known as the Bidetmega 400.

Butt tech: The upcoming matter you didn’t know you essential. Coway’s heated seat, heated water, car-cleaning, blow-drying, and evening-mild-laden throne is a masterpiece of convenience and cleanliness I now can not dwell without. If I’m gonna Uber to the clinic mainly because I simply cannot find the money for an ambulance, I could as effectively do it with a sparkling undercarriage.

Why You Require a Bidet

It is essential armchair philosophy: If you acquired pooped on by a bird, would you wipe it off your skin with some two-ply and retain going for walks? No. You’d use water. The bidet is better, right?

Photograph: Coway

Not always. There is no indication that the sum of microbial junk in our trunks (about .14 grams in the common American wiper, according to fellow WIRED author and bidet fanatic Jason Kehe) is an real well being problem. I could not even uncover peer-reviewed proof that advised applying bidets is basically cleaner, which is outrageous mainly because bidets make me come to feel so significantly cleaner.

The true purpose to use a bidet, I have discovered, is how carefully they cleanse your nether regions. Some scientific tests have proven that bidets might be practical for persons with hemorrhoids or other concerns in which wiping triggers bodily distress (or, in some situations, far more hurt). Clinical professionals also say they are very good applications for people with physical disabilities. They’re also popular in a number of parts of the environment, just not the US.

Mild Huge

The Bidetmega begins its magic as soon as you descend into its ergonomic clutches.

A tension sensor on the entrance of the bold, slanted toilet seat mechanically tells the bidet to rinse by itself clean—trickling a bit of water down below you, as however self-mindful of the generation of economics that led to this instant. At the exact same time, the Bidetmega commences heating the seat to one of two temperatures (a few if you incorporate leaving the heat off fully).

My butt now follows the seasons. I like the incredibly hot location for the duration of the dreary Portland winter season but envision myself transitioning to medium heat in springtime and no warmth in summer months. It truly is mega speedy, achieving a warm temperature in about a minute.

Just after you’ve performed your company, you press the Rear or Front buttons on the provided remote—which is wi-fi, and therefore a hilarious way to surprise a checking out buddy or relative.

Photograph: Coway

Thrust the button (also printed with braille), and the Bidetmega starts one of a few preselected cleaning modes: Standard, Soothing Wash, and Active. I favor Comforting Clean, for obvious purpose. Lively method isn’t why any person buys a $600 bidet, and Standard method just feels like a squander of the revenue.

Calming Clean method is as outstanding as it seems. Contrary to many more cost-effective rest room attachments—like my preceding design from Amazon, which bows its plastic spritzer wand at the ft of this very well-heeled Coway model—the Bidetmega pretty very carefully regulates pressure and temperature of its h2o stream using something it calls “i-wave technologies.” The stream alterations in intensity in the course of a cleansing, giving a multistage wash at 1 of three user-picked drinking water temperatures. I, now a connoisseur, like medium heat.

In contrast to that Amazon-acquired predecessor, the Bidetmega never ever misses, so there is no weird waddling motion the two nozzle positions can be altered forward or backward making use of the remote for the duration of the to start with use, for laserlike precision thereafter.

That is the finest element of the Bidetmega 400: There is almost nothing to believe about. You push a solitary button, and for a temporary, non-public second, you are a God, gloriously beloved by a toilet seat. You’re cleaned, warmed, and—in the end—you push a further button, and a heat stream of air blows you dry.

This is a best modern day machine. There is no world-wide-web link and no virtual assistant to communicate to. No person at the NSA is going to snoop by means of your poop knowledge. The Bidetmega only can take one thing that offers you small excitement and helps make it a joyous spotlight of your day. It really is even bought a glowing blue gentle to information you in for late-night landings.

Easy In, Straightforward Out

Assume you may possibly want to practical experience the Bidetmega’s magic? Coway features a 90-day free of charge demo on its website—which raises the query: What are they doing with used bidets?

Photograph: Coway

In any scenario, set up didn’t have me fearing I was going to break my bathroom or flood my toilet. It was as basic as modifying a rest room seat. Place it on, set up a T-connector to your toilet’s drinking water supply, and plug it into an outlet. Work accomplished. The distant even will come with a tape-backed mount, so you can set the controls any place you want.

Enjoy the Throne

The Bidetmega is the Rolls Royce of toilet add-ons, but there are a lot of comparable items from nicely-recognized makes that offer lots of of the exact functions for significantly less. I am going to be tests far more soon, but for now the Bidetmega 400 reigns supreme. This is the fanciest device I have ever place in my lavatory, and I cherish each minute I spend in its company.

Do not believe me? Give it a shot. Your moms and dads could possibly have a ritzy home and no student financial loan personal debt, but they likely do not poop like this.

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